Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,065

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Going viral on WeChat:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Live now on YouTube:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Shared recently on Slack:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like floppy disks nailed the whole saving concept even before the cloud did! 💾😇😂

death, died, disk, floppy, floppy disk, humor, icon, Jesus, metaphor, saving, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

0

2 months ago

beauty, boy, gender, humor, just, perception, sorry, stereotype, thing, ugly, used, women, word
Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

0

2 months ago

celebration, drank, friendship, humor, i, just, last, love, man, much, night, party, reach, reach out, say, wanted, wedding
Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

0

2 months ago

awesome, February, getting, humor, January, month, over, reward, rude, sarcasm, winter
Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

0

1 month ago

born, forced, frustration, group, group work, hell, humor, interaction, irony, office, office humor, raised, sarcasm, sarcastic, say, social, social interaction, stupid, work, workplace
Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

0

2 months ago

20, appreciation, corporate, corporate job, email, humor, job, killer, money, salary, should, someone, tips, work, work humor, workplace, worst
Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

0

1 month ago

affection, annoying, heart, humor, love, media, online, online persona, persona, relationship, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

40 shares on TikTok this month:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Tested positive for being single af

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Happiness is an inside job.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Shared recently on Slack:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Trending via X:

Avocado is just green butter.

Just landed via YouTube:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨