Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I woke up alive again.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,671

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Breaking via Instagram:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Making waves on Pinterest:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

4 weeks ago

Playful, edgy text highlighting humor about personal streaming habits and entertainment preferences.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone is ready to groove to a different kind of playlist this year! 🎶🔞 Who needs music when you have spicy content to track? 🌶️👀 #PornhubWrapped #2021Mood"

entertainment, forget, humor, interests, Pornhub, preferences, seeing, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, streaming, wrapped

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

83 shares on Discord this month:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

85 shares on Threads this month:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

20 shares on Threads this month:

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Will probably never be loved, but I have to send emails, so I can’t really think about that right now.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Strict parents raise good liars.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,761

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Going viral on Discord:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Spotted on Twitch:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Just shared via Instagram:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Making waves on Threads:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

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