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Breaking family records one tweet at a time!
87 Funny addiction quotes
Twitter is cigarette for the eyes.
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Sounds like I've been chain-smoking with my eyeballs! 👀🚬😂
Some of you have overdosed so hard on the propaganda, there’s nothing reality Narcan can do for you.
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Looks like we need a new 12-step program for worldviews! 🧠🚑 #PropagandaProblems
Your phone is a casino designed to steal your time.
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Looks like I hit the jackpot… but all I got was a selfie! 🎰📱😅
Did you know? By replacing your coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 92% of what little joy you still have left in your life.
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Switching coffee for green tea: the fastest way to transform waking up from a sip of happiness to a morning of leafy sorrow ☕➡️🍵😂
A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.
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Sounds like my wallet is the true victim of identity theft! 🎰💸😅
If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.
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I'm not sure what too much caffeine does, but I need another cup to help me remember 😂☕️💭
Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.
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Looks like I've found my spirit animal in a T-Rex with a buffet obsession! 🍕🦖😄
That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.
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Looks like true love and urban planning are the new dynamic duo 🍷💑🚶♂️🌆
Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.
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Sounds like I need a raise in divine intervention! 💸😇