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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Spotted on Pinterest:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Just shared via Reddit:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Going viral on Telegram:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

Just landed via Facebook:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

216 Funny aging quotes

More funny aging quotes 👇

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

3 months ago

50, aging, couch, dance, getting old
Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

3 months ago

aging, changes, complaining, getting, humor, interaction, less, life, life changes, means, older, people, perspective, social, social interaction, talking
You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

3 months ago

aging, body, heat, humidity, humor, self-deprecation, steam, think, wrinkles
No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

3 months ago

age, aging, eyesight, facial, facial hair, fuzzy, hair, humor, i, me, mean, middle, middle age, perception, self-deprecation, yes
Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

3 months ago

50s, aging, funny observation, height, humor, observation, taller, used, welcome
I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

3 months ago

age, aging, humor, i, just, number, older
Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

3 months ago

40s, aging, humor, life, milestone, pounds, weight, welcome
Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

3 months ago

40s, aging, exhausted, face, humor, just, self-deprecation, welcome
The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

3 months ago

aging, cars, deer, humor, i, irony, life, older, perspective, run, understand
Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

3 months ago

40s, age, aging, believe, disbelief, guess, humor, life, life stage, old, second, second guess, stage, welcome

For even more funny aging quotes, hit next 👇

All funny aging quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on X this month:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

71 shares on YouTube this month:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

37 shares on X this month:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

They expect me to work at work.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Making waves on Telegram:

About to form my very first opinion.

Just landed via X:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Just landed via Instagram:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Just shared via Telegram:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Shared recently on TikTok:

This cucumber Gatorade got me quenched in an unprecedented manner.

Spotted on Discord:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Breaking via Slack:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Activity Log ✨

216 Funny aging quotes

More funny aging quotes 👇

All funny aging quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨