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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Shared recently on X:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Going bananas on Instagram:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Trending via Telegram:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Trending via Pinterest:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Funny breaking news quotes

Funny breaking news quotes 🚨😂 are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to your day! Whether you’re scrolling through headlines or sharing laughs with friends, these witty gems bring unexpected chuckles to serious stories. Ready to turn the news into your new comedy show? Grab your popcorn 🍿 and get set for some headline hilarity that’s sure to brighten even the dullest updates!

New funny breaking news quotes 👇

All funny breaking news quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Messenger this month:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

48 shares on X this month:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

61 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

79 shares on Threads this month:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

84 shares on Threads this month:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

31 shares on Slack this month:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,356

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Spotted on Discord:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Live now on Reddit:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Spotted on Pinterest:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Breaking via Telegram:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

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