Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,483

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Breaking via Messenger:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Making waves on Twitch:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Seen just now on Slack:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Shared recently on Slack:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Going bananas on X:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Going viral on X:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Making waves on Twitch:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Funny cannabis quotes

Funny cannabis quotes🌿💨 bring the perfect blend of laughter and chill vibes to any conversation! Whether you’re a seasoned tokers or just here for the giggles, these witty one-liners will lighten up your day and spark some smoky smiles 😆🔥. Get ready to roll with the funniest sayings that celebrate the green lifestyle in the most hilarious way possible! 🌱😂 #StayHighAndLaugh

New funny cannabis quotes 👇

All funny cannabis quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Slack this month:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

50 shares on YouTube this month:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

12 shares on Discord this month:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,308

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Live now on YouTube:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Just shared via TikTok:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Going viral on Telegram:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Trending via Twitch:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Making waves on Reddit:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Going viral on Instagram:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Trending via Snapchat:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴