Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

42 minutes ago

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Just landed via Pinterest:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Making waves on Slack:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Spotted on X:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Just shared via WeChat:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Trending via WeChat:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Shared recently on YouTube:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Just shared via Messenger:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Home » Funny Commit Quotes

Funny commit quotes

Funny commit quotes bring a splash of humor to the world of coding 💻😂, turning everyday git messages into moments of pure joy 🎉. Whether you’re a seasoned developer or just dabbling in code, these witty lines add personality and lighten the mood during those late-night push sessions 🌙✨. Ready to laugh your way through version control? Let’s dive into the funniest commit quotes that every coder can relate to! 🚀🖋️

New funny commit quotes 👇

1 month ago
Share →: My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Commentary:
"With my DNA all over the place, I'd be caught before the crime is even committed! 🚔🔬😂"
6 months ago
Share →: My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Commentary:
"Seppuku? Ain't nobody got time for that! 🙅‍♂️ Let's aim for a life goal that doesn't involve sharp objects or ceremonial self-disembowelment, shall we? 😂 #GoalsWithoutGore"
6 months ago
Share →: I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Commentary:
"Gun violence? Nah, I'm more of a 'reload my pill caddy and remote batteries' kind of person. Stay loaded, but in a different way! 💊🔋😅"
6 months ago
Share →: My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Commentary:
"Looks like this person's hair is their ultimate snitch! 🕵️‍♂️💇‍♀️ DNA evidence? Check! Hair everywhere? Double check! Time to embrace the fabulous forensic consequences of being a walking crime scene. 💁‍♂️🦠"
6 months ago
Share →: I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Commentary:
"Talk about the ultimate 'long-term commitment'! 😆👏 Nothing says 'I love you' quite like sticking with the joke through thick and thin! 💌💍 #RelationshipGoals"

For even more funny commit quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny commit quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

42 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Spotted on Threads:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Going viral on X:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Just shared via YouTube:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Reported on Snapchat:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴