Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Cool times create cool guys.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,483

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Live now on TikTok:

I’ve been a main character since birth.

Going viral on Facebook:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Live now on Snapchat:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Going bananas on Discord:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Just landed via Pinterest:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Trending via Pinterest:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

Making waves on Reddit:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Funny constipation quotes

Funny constipation quotes bring a hilarious twist to an otherwise uncomfortable topic 🍑💨 Laugh away the struggle with clever jokes and witty lines that turn bathroom battles into comedy gold 😂🚽 Whether you’re feeling stuck or just love a good pun, these quotes will have you giggling while you wait for relief! #BathroomHumor #StayLoose

New funny constipation quotes 👇

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

7 days ago

anxiety, constipation, diagnosis, doctor, humor, joke, just, me, medical, medical joke, wordplay, worry
I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

1 week ago

bizarre, constipation, doctor, dragon, drug, drug experience, experience, hallucination, humor, i, LSD, myself, prescription, saw, shit, sure, surreal, unexpected, why
I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

1 week ago

constipation, emotion, feeling, humor, i, month, shit, think

All funny constipation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on WeChat this month:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

16 shares on X this month:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

35 shares on X this month:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,533

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Making waves on Messenger:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Making waves on Instagram:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Spotted on X:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Making waves on WeChat:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Shared recently on TikTok:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You didn’t lock in hard enough if you’re not feeling asexual.

Making waves on Snapchat:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

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