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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,819

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Shared recently on Threads:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Going viral on Discord:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Trending via Pinterest:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Just shared via Threads:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

43 Funny cost quotes

More funny cost quotes 👇

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

0

5 months ago

basic, comical, cost, costs, dining, fact, fast, fast food, food, humor, inflation, meal, price, restaurant
Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

0

5 months ago

25, avocado, avocado toast, cafe, comparison, cooking, cost, delivery, eats, food, food delivery, home, home cooking, humor, labor, labor cost, minute, money, price, price comparison, time, toast, Uber, Uber Eats, value, value of time, worth
This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

0

5 months ago

after, cost, cost of living, faith, humor, Jesus, joke, life, life cost, living, paid, payment, religion

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All funny cost quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

15 shares on Slack this month:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The peace of not knowing.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Spotted on Telegram:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Trending via Discord:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Just shared via Reddit:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Going viral on Snapchat:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

43 Funny cost quotes

More funny cost quotes 👇

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

All funny cost quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨