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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,564

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Trending via Telegram:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Just shared via Slack:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

Breaking via Facebook:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Spotted on YouTube:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Trending via Snapchat:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Seen just now on Threads:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

Just landed via YouTube:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Spotted on Reddit:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Funny dance move quotes

Funny dance move quotes are the perfect way to add some groove and giggles to your day! 🕺💃 Whether you’re busting out quirky steps or just laughing at those epic fails, these witty lines celebrate the joy of dancing like nobody’s watching 🎉😂 Get ready to shake, smile, and share the fun vibes with friends! 🎶✨

New funny dance move quotes 👇

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

0

2 months ago

attitude, confidence, dance, dance move, doing, dropping, fun, hell, hot, humor, lifestyle, move, party
When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

0

2 months ago

amusing, animal, animal comparison, chasing, comparison, dance, dance move, dog, humor, i, move, people, quirky, say, self-deprecating, tail, wild, wild dog
My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

0

2 months ago

activity, dance, dance move, favorite, getting, getting out, humor, move, own, self, trying
I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

0

2 months ago

benefit, comeback, dance, dance move, enjoy, enjoyment, glass, glasses, health, health benefit, humor, i, move, moves, night, night routine, routine, wine, witty, witty comeback

All funny dance move quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

10 shares on X this month:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

29 shares on Slack this month:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

95 shares on Discord this month:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,473

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Just landed via Instagram:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Just landed via Telegram:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Live now on TikTok:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Shared recently on Messenger:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Going viral on TikTok:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

Going viral on Messenger:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Trending via Reddit:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Just shared via Slack:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

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