Commentary:
Taking a leap of faith into coupledom sounds thrilling, but the fear of successful love is real! 🏃♂️💔😆 #SingleSwanSong
231 Funny date quotes
Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.
Commentary:
Clearly, the key to a perfect relationship is knowing his heart belongs to the T. rex. 🦖❤️ Or is it time to find out if he’s a secret Triceratops fan? 🤔😂
The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.
Commentary:
Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested! 🚗😅❤️
People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.
Commentary:
Savvy with the shady receipts! I’m basically a librarian of grudges. 📚😎✨
Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.
Commentary:
Guess my card decided to go on a diet because it's looking really light now! 💸😅
Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.
Commentary:
Wow, that's a 5-star Yelp review-worthy moment! 😄🚻✨
Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.
Commentary:
Renaissance vibes: lounging in style with grapes and no pants! 🍇🎨😊
I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.
Commentary:
Sounds like a relationship built on clay-solid activities! 🍶😂
This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.
Commentary:
Time flies when you're having fun—or when you just blink! 🎅⏰🙃
I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.
Commentary:
I've been thinking so much this year, I'm starting to wonder if my brain has a workout playlist. 🧠💪😂