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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Jan 5, 2026

3,408

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Live now on WeChat:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Going viral on WeChat:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Making waves on Slack:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Going viral on Slack:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Making waves on X:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Funny decorations quotes

Funny decorations quotes bring a splash of humor 🎉 and personality to any space 🏡, turning ordinary decor into unforgettable conversations 😄. Whether you’re decking out for a party 🎈 or just love a good laugh while sprucing up your home 🛋️, these witty words add charm and cheer to every corner. Get ready to smile and sparkle with a touch of playful inspiration ✨!

New funny decorations quotes 👇

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

0

1 week ago

Christmas, countdown, days, decoration, decorations, holiday, humor, impatience, people
My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

0

4 weeks ago

Christmas, December, decoration, decorations, easier, family, family life, holiday, house, humor, husband, life, moved, moving, said, taking
Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

0

2 months ago

away, cat, cats, change, Christmas, day, decorations, holiday, humor, pet, pet humor, putting, sad, sad day, seasonal, seasonal change, tree
I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

0

2 months ago

away, Christmas, decorations, holiday, humor, i, Joseph, Mary, much, procrastination, putting, putting away, relatable, stuff, wonder
Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, crappy, decorations, festively, holiday, holiday light, humor, irony, life, light, lights, put, seasonal, wait

All funny decorations quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

32 shares on Messenger this month:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,384

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Breaking via Discord:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Spotted on Twitch:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Spotted on Twitch:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

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