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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,750

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Making waves on Twitch:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Trending via Telegram:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Going bananas on Slack:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Spotted on Threads:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Live now on Telegram:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Funny decorations quotes

Funny decorations quotes bring a splash of humor 🎉 and personality to any space 🏡, turning ordinary decor into unforgettable conversations 😄. Whether you’re decking out for a party 🎈 or just love a good laugh while sprucing up your home 🛋️, these witty words add charm and cheer to every corner. Get ready to smile and sparkle with a touch of playful inspiration ✨!

New funny decorations quotes 👇

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

2 days ago

Christmas, countdown, days, decoration, decorations, holiday, humor, impatience, people
My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

2 days ago

Christmas, December, decoration, decorations, easier, family, family life, holiday, house, humor, husband, life, moved, moving, said, taking
Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

6 days ago

away, cat, cats, change, Christmas, day, decorations, holiday, humor, pet, pet humor, putting, sad, sad day, seasonal, seasonal change, tree
I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

6 days ago

away, Christmas, decorations, holiday, humor, i, Joseph, Mary, much, procrastination, putting, putting away, relatable, stuff, wonder
Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

7 days ago

anticipation, crappy, decorations, festively, holiday, holiday light, humor, irony, life, light, lights, put, seasonal, wait

All funny decorations quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Reddit this month:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

59 shares on X this month:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

67 shares on Instagram this month:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,325

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Just landed via Facebook:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Making waves on Threads:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Spotted on Telegram:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Going viral on Instagram:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Just landed via TikTok:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Spotted on Discord:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Just landed via Telegram:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Spotted on TikTok:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

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