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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,472

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Going viral on Facebook:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Just landed via Threads:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Just landed via YouTube:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Spotted on YouTube:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Seen just now on Instagram:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Breaking via Slack:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Live now on Discord:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Funny disinterest quotes

Funny disinterest quotes bring a hilarious twist to those moments when you just can’t be bothered 🙄😂 Whether you’re dodging awkward convos or pretending to care (but really not), these witty lines capture that perfectly lazy vibe 😴💬 Get ready to laugh, relate, and maybe even master the art of looking effortlessly unimpressed! 😎✨

New funny disinterest quotes 👇

All funny disinterest quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

58 shares on Threads this month:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

80 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I am half agony, half hope.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,620

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Making waves on Facebook:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Going viral on WeChat:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Just landed via Telegram:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Trending via Threads:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Shared recently on X:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

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