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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,695

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Just shared via WeChat:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Just shared via WeChat:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Shared recently on Discord:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

Trending via Pinterest:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Going viral on Threads:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Trending via Twitch:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

Going viral on Slack:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Funny Doc quotes

Funny Doc quotes 😂💉 bring a dose of laughter to the sometimes serious world of medicine! Whether you’re a healthcare pro or just love clever wit, these hilarious lines will brighten your day and remind you that even doctors have a funny bone. Get ready to chuckle, smile, and share the best medical humor around! 😄🩺✨

New funny Doc quotes 👇

All funny Doc quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

47 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Time machine? You mean a clock?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Geopolitics for dudes is like pure sex. Almost like the male mind was built for this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,530

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

Trending via Telegram:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Just shared via WeChat:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Trending via Pinterest:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Going viral on TikTok:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Trending via Messenger:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

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