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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Reported on Reddit:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Making waves on Instagram:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Just landed via X:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Reported on Facebook:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Just landed via Slack:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Breaking via X:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

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Funny Doc quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Snapchat:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Making waves on Reddit:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Just landed via Instagram:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Spotted on Snapchat:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Trending via YouTube:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Shared recently on X:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Spotted on Discord:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

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