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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,473

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Going viral on Facebook:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Just landed via Slack:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Going bananas on X:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Going viral on Facebook:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Trending via Reddit:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Spotted on Reddit:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Funny Doc quotes

Funny Doc quotes 😂💉 bring a dose of laughter to the sometimes serious world of medicine! Whether you’re a healthcare pro or just love clever wit, these hilarious lines will brighten your day and remind you that even doctors have a funny bone. Get ready to chuckle, smile, and share the best medical humor around! 😄🩺✨

New funny Doc quotes 👇

All funny Doc quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Reddit this month:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

70 shares on Discord this month:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

18 shares on Discord this month:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,632

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Spotted on X:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Spotted on Messenger:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Shared recently on Instagram:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Just landed via Twitch:

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Going bananas on Instagram:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Spotted on Instagram:

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

Making waves on Threads:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

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