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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,348

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Just landed via Twitch:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Just landed via Threads:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Just shared via YouTube:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Trending via Slack:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

Spotted on TikTok:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Just landed via X:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Funny fake death quotes

Funny fake death quotes bring a hilarious twist to the usually serious topic of life’s final curtain call 💀😂 Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood or add some dark humor to your day, these witty one-liners will have you laughing in the face of the inevitable 😜✨ Perfect for pranksters, jokesters, or anyone who loves a cheeky take on mortality! Ready to giggle like you’re immortal? Let’s dive in! 🎉😆

New funny fake death quotes 👇

All funny fake death quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

42 shares on Threads this month:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

36 shares on Slack this month:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

47 shares on WeChat this month:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

24 shares on Threads this month:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

92 shares on Threads this month:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Even wild things have slow mornings.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,238

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Going viral on WeChat:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Going viral on Slack:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

Trending via Snapchat:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

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