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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,712

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Just shared via Discord:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Making waves on YouTube:

I have a yearning disability.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Breaking via Slack:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Going viral on Discord:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Funny fake death quotes

Funny fake death quotes bring a hilarious twist to the usually serious topic of life’s final curtain call 💀😂 Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood or add some dark humor to your day, these witty one-liners will have you laughing in the face of the inevitable 😜✨ Perfect for pranksters, jokesters, or anyone who loves a cheeky take on mortality! Ready to giggle like you’re immortal? Let’s dive in! 🎉😆

New funny fake death quotes 👇

All funny fake death quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

40 shares on Threads this month:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

24 shares on Threads this month:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,339

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Seen just now on Facebook:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Making waves on Slack:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Spotted on X:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Going bananas on Slack:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Spotted on Instagram:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Just shared via Discord:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

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