Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,648

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Seen just now on Discord:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Seen just now on Threads:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Trending via Messenger:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Shared recently on X:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Going viral on WeChat:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Funny first impression quotes

Funny first impression quotes are the perfect way to break the ice and keep things lighthearted 🤣 Whether you’ve nailed it or hilariously failed, these witty lines capture those unforgettable moments when meeting someone new 🙌 Get ready to laugh, relate, and maybe rethink that awkward handshake or quirky smile 😜 Because hey, first impressions don’t always have to be serious! 🎉

New funny first impression quotes 👇

All funny first impression quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Instagram this month:

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

69 shares on Slack this month:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,583

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Just landed via YouTube:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Spotted on Reddit:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Breaking via WeChat:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴