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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,862

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Broadcasted on Slack:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Home » funny parenting

Funny funny parenting quotes

Funny funny parenting quotes bring a dose of laughter to the wild ride of raising tiny humans 😄👶 From sleepless nights to endless messes, these witty gems capture the chaos and joy in the most hilarious way 🎉🍼 Whether you’re a rookie or a seasoned pro, get ready to giggle, relate, and maybe even snort with these playful parenting truths 😂💬

New funny funny parenting quotes 👇

All funny funny parenting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

28 shares on Reddit this month:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

66 shares on Threads this month:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,968

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Just shared via TikTok:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Making waves on Facebook:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Trending via Discord:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Going bananas on Twitch:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Just landed via Threads:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Trending via WeChat:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Just landed via Instagram:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Going viral on Discord:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

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