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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,659

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Making waves on Slack:

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Just shared via TikTok:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Trending via Telegram:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Just shared via Threads:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Trending via Snapchat:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Just landed via X:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Funny funny parenting quotes

Funny funny parenting quotes bring a dose of laughter to the wild ride of raising tiny humans 😄👶 From sleepless nights to endless messes, these witty gems capture the chaos and joy in the most hilarious way 🎉🍼 Whether you’re a rookie or a seasoned pro, get ready to giggle, relate, and maybe even snort with these playful parenting truths 😂💬

New funny funny parenting quotes 👇

All funny funny parenting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

89 shares on Threads this month:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

85 shares on Slack this month:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

92 shares on Slack this month:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,492

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Masturbation is easy, but choosing a video is hard.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You’re not really a writer unless you send at least one email a month with a script attachment, saying, “Sorry, read this one instead.”

Trending via Telegram:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Breaking via YouTube:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Breaking via X:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Trending via Slack:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

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