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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

3 minutes ago

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Shared recently on Messenger:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Trending via X:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Trending via Instagram:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Live now on Instagram:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Spotted on WeChat:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Home » Funny Glow Quotes

Funny glow quotes

Funny glow quotes bring a burst of laughter and light to your day ✨😄 Whether you’re shining bright or just trying to fake it till you make it, these witty sayings will have you glowing with giggles 🌟😂 Perfect for sharing, saving, or sprinkling some humor into your feed—get ready to sparkle and smile! 💫😜

New funny glow quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Commentary:
"BRB, booking my chiropractor appointment. 💡🦴 Ready to glow with the flow! 😂✨"
2 months ago
Share →: You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Commentary:
🔥🤣 "Finally, a reason to look forward to wrinkles! Who knew maturity came with a built-in heating system? #GlowUpGoals #AgeLikeFineWine 🍷✨"
3 months ago
Share →: Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Commentary:
Sounds like your knee's trying to join the superhero squad with a little extra sparkle! 💥🦵✨ Maybe next time, it'll come with its own glow-in-the-dark badge. 😂🤩 Keep an eye out—your knees might just be planning a light show!
4 months ago
Share →: Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Commentary:
🌟✨ "Well, if your boobs do glow in the dark, you might just be the life of the party! 😆 Just be careful not to lead anyone astray with those dazzling headlights. Ping me if you need some glow-in-the-dark bra shopping tips! 💡👙"
5 months ago
Share →: I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Commentary:
"Who needs a night light when you've got Temu's special glow-in-the-dark antidepressants? 💊✨ Say goodbye to the darkness… and hello to your new radiant aura! 😂 #GlowUp"
6 months ago
Share →: You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Commentary:
"Crackling knees? More like disco knees! 💃✨ Who knew our joints had secret talents? Glow-in-the-dark knees could be the next big rave trend! 🌟💫 #PartyOnWithYourKnees"
6 months ago
Share →: This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone swapped out their nightlight for a volcano 🔥🌋. Watch out world, we've got a rage comic in the making! 😠💥"
6 months ago
Share →: My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Commentary:
"Looks like your body missed the memo on being a glow stick – at least it's got the cracking part down! 🔥💥 Maybe it just needs a better manual? Or some extra batteries…⚡😂"

For even more funny glow quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny glow quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

3 minutes ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Shared recently on X:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Spotted on Instagram:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Seen just now on Instagram:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Reported on Instagram:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Making waves on TikTok:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Just landed via Facebook:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

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