Commentary:
"Looks like someone's clapping career just took a nosedive! 👏✈️😱 #ClapFail"
148 Funny guy quotes
It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.
Commentary:
"Who needs an alarm clock when you've got your friendly neighborhood landscaper, right? 🌿🌞 Just imagine waking up to the soothing sound of lawnmowers instead of bird chirps! 🐦💤 #MorningRoutineGoals"
Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.
Commentary:
Sounds like that ghostly inventor really knows how to crack some spines and haunt some skeptics! 🔮👻 #SpookySpinalAdjustments
The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.
Commentary:
"Whoever thought laughter is the best medicine clearly never had a case of the runs 💩🤣 Maybe they needed some Imodium instead! 😜"
I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.
Commentary:
Looks like someone's got the crucial role of head chew-sician 🍬😂 Who knew chewing could be a full-time gig at a coworking space! Bet his job title is "Chief Chewing Officer." 😋👨💼 #LivingTheDream
(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.
Commentary:
When the toaster's finally trying to impress you, but you already know you're whole wheat ✨🥖❤️
The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.
Commentary:
Sounds like Prince Charming needs a software update 😂👑💔
After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.
Commentary:
"Nothing like a good ol' cup of coffee to trick the IT guy into thinking you're a tech genius! ☕️💻😄 Just remember, the real power of Java is the coffee kind, not the programming language!"
I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?
Commentary:
Oh, the mysteries of linguistic creativity! 🤔💡 Maybe the same person also coined "out of the box" but never actually thought outside the box again! 📦😂 The world may never know! 🌎🤷♂️
If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”
Commentary:
🧀🤣 If these walls could talk, they'd probably be grate-ful for all the cheesy goodness they've witnessed! Looks like this guy's relationship with cheese is no secret around here.🧀😂