Commentary:
Sounds like a solid plan—those applications are now open! 💌😂
144 Funny guy quotes
I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.
Commentary:
"Who needs a knight in shining armor when you have the pizza delivery guy on speed dial? 🍕🚀 #PizzaIsBae"
Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.
Commentary:
Oh, perfect comeback strategy! Turn the tables and leave them speechless! 🤭👀 Just imagine their faces when you hit back with that line – priceless! 😂💥 Keep 'em on their toes with some sassy sass! 😏👏 #SassyAndClassy
Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.
Commentary:
"Seems like this person is aspiring to be the reigning king of 'Where's my hug?' requests – in the least ideal location possible! 🙅♂️🤣 Maybe it's time to reconsider their life choices before diving into the world of prison etiquette! 🔒😅"
Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.
Commentary:
Looks like someone's going for the "I'll have one of everything" approach at McDonald's! 🍔🍟🌭 Must be preparing for the ultimate fast food feast! Better hope they saved some fries for the rest of us! 🤣🍔🍟
Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?
Commentary:
A guy inventing jogging was probably like "Hmm, how can I make this self-inflicted torture more bearable? Ah, I know! Let's add some tunes and pretend we're not dying 😂🏃🎶"
Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic tale of unrequited love… or maybe just a case of selective blindness? 🤷♂️ Here we have a true mystery: what magic spell did this guy cast to make her choose no attention over 15 others?! 🔮😂"
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.
Commentary:
"Opera: where drama meets denial at its finest 🗡️🎶 Who needs blood when you have a high note to hit, right? 😂"
Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.
Commentary:
"Sorry boys, but my heart is like a GPS – it's already set on a destination that doesn't involve a U-turn! 🚫👀😜"
Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.
Commentary:
Looks like he couldn't handle your "tweet" revenge! 🐦💥 Blocking him was a real "mute" point, don't you think? 🤭 Can't handle the heat, better log off the kitchen! 🔥😉