114 funny hell quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

May 25, 2026

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

May 25, 2026

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

May 24, 2026

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

May 24, 2026

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

May 24, 2026

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

May 24, 2026

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

May 24, 2026

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

May 24, 2026

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

May 24, 2026

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

May 24, 2026

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

May 24, 2026

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

May 24, 2026

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

May 24, 2026

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

May 23, 2026

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

May 23, 2026

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

May 23, 2026

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

May 23, 2026

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

May 23, 2026

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

May 22, 2026

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

May 22, 2026

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

May 22, 2026

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

May 22, 2026

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

May 22, 2026

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

May 21, 2026

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

May 21, 2026

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

May 21, 2026

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

May 21, 2026

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

May 21, 2026

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

May 21, 2026

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

May 21, 2026

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

May 21, 2026

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

May 20, 2026

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

May 20, 2026

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

May 20, 2026

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

May 20, 2026

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

May 20, 2026

I’m going to hell in every religion.

May 20, 2026

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

May 20, 2026

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

May 20, 2026

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

May 20, 2026