115 funny hell quotes - Page 3 - Wordgag

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

May 23, 2026

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

May 23, 2026

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

May 22, 2026

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

May 22, 2026

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

May 22, 2026

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

May 22, 2026

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

May 22, 2026

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

May 21, 2026

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

May 21, 2026

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

May 21, 2026

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

May 21, 2026

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

May 21, 2026

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

May 21, 2026

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

May 21, 2026

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

May 21, 2026

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

May 20, 2026

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

May 20, 2026

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

May 20, 2026

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

May 20, 2026

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

May 20, 2026

I’m going to hell in every religion.

May 20, 2026

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

May 20, 2026

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

May 20, 2026

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

May 20, 2026

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

May 20, 2026

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

May 20, 2026

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

May 20, 2026

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

May 19, 2026

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

May 19, 2026

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

May 19, 2026

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

May 19, 2026

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

May 19, 2026

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

May 19, 2026

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

May 19, 2026

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

May 19, 2026