114 funny hell quotes - Page 3 - Wordgag

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

May 20, 2026

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

May 20, 2026

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

May 20, 2026

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

May 20, 2026

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

May 19, 2026

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

May 19, 2026

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

May 19, 2026

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

May 19, 2026

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

May 19, 2026

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

May 19, 2026

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

May 19, 2026

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

May 19, 2026

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

May 19, 2026

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

May 19, 2026

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

May 19, 2026

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

May 19, 2026

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

May 19, 2026

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

May 19, 2026

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

May 18, 2026

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

May 18, 2026

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

May 18, 2026

Micro dosing hell by staying informed and educated.

May 18, 2026

There is a special place reserved in hell for website designers who disable cut and paste in password fields.

May 6, 2026

Why will Satan torture people in hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed?

Apr 1, 2026

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

Apr 1, 2026

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Apr 1, 2026

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Apr 1, 2026

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Apr 1, 2026

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Apr 1, 2026

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

Apr 1, 2026

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Apr 1, 2026

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Apr 1, 2026

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Mar 31, 2026

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Mar 31, 2026