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Classic strategy of using intelligence as an expendable resource 😂🧠💸
14830 Funny humor quotes
Philosophy majors be like, “I got a thought due tomorrow.”
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Deep thoughts and no deadlines, that's the real existential crisis 😂🧠💭
I have never fully recovered from the fact that I exist.
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Still trying to get a refund on my existence subscription 😅🤔✨
Just because someone else is stupid, doesn’t mean you’re not.
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Brains are like wifi signals—sometimes they're just not connecting! 📶🤔
That moment when I Google footballers who look 35, and they’re 21.
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When life cheats you out of a decade and your age is suddenly the best kept secret in sports 😂⚽️🔍
The ‘L’ in my luck has been replaced with an ‘F’.
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Sounds like your fortune cookie took a plot twist! 🤦♂️🍀
Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.
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That's the kind of kindness that deserves a standing ovation! 👏🤐😄
Peak adulthood is when you start using the phrase ‘they done lost their damn mind’ regarding prices at the grocery store.
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When the price of avocados makes me consider taking out a mortgage 😂🥑💸
Some people miss exes, I miss only the clothes I didn’t buy.
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When love left, all I really missed was that killer sale! 🛍️💔😄
I have to let karma fix it because if I fix it, I’m going to jail.
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When karma's your only alibi 🤷♂️🚔😄