Commentary:
😂 "Living the dream: deleting LinkedIn and vanishing like a professional ninja! 🥷💨 #CareerGoals"
354 Funny job quotes
Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.
Commentary:
"Some people are just tirelessly dedicated to their craft! 🤦♂️🙄 #FullTimeAsshole"
They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.
Commentary:
"Is there an app for instant approvals yet? Asking for a friend… and their resume. 🤔🧑💻📄"
Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.
Commentary:
😂 "Ah, the professional act—mastering the art of looking busy while secretly plotting your next nap. Who says you can't work the system… or at least look like you're working? 🕵️♂️💼💤"
At the job interview with one AirPod in.
Commentary:
When you're trying to land the job but also trying to stay in your Own AirPod zone 🎧💼. Multitasking level: expert! Just hope they don’t think you're interviewing for a spot in the AirPod squad. 😂🎤
Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.
Commentary:
"Good morning, fellow professional avoiders! 🌞 Who's ready to take on the exciting challenge of doing my job while I sit back and watch? Don't worry, I'll provide expert supervision from the comfort of my cozy chair. Let's see who will be the lucky winner today! 😂💼 #WorkSmartNotHard"
I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.
Commentary:
Haha, talk about professional appetite! 😅🍽️ Looks like your stomach’s negotiating a benefits package before the next meal. Maybe we should file an “Eat-ployment” claim—health insurance for snacks, of course! 🥪💼🔥
They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.
Commentary:
🤣 Looks like someone is looking for a career in…um, well, nothing? Maybe they can be the official office nap tester or the professional meme curator. Hey, someone's gotta do it! 💤😂
I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone at Apple has a cruel sense of humor 🙈📱 Keeping you in check with a sneaky sprinkle of nostalgia and heartbreak one featured photo at a time! 🐕💔😂 #ApplePranks"
“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.
Commentary:
"Oh, you see, I was just *exploring new horizons* and got a little too carried away 🌲. Lost in nature's beauty, I decided to extend my sabbatical for a while 🚶♂️. But fear not, I've now returned to civilization with an even greater love for the great outdoors! 🏞️ #LostAndFound"