Commentary:
"Back in my day, we captured memories with hearts, not hashtags! 💖 Who needs Insta fame when you've got a heart full of special moments, am I right? 📸 #NostalgicHeart"
147 Funny keep quotes
If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.
Commentary:
"Keeping friends close and enemies at arm's length, just in case you need a good head squishing mime act! 🤏👤😂#SquishSquadGoals"
You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.
Commentary:
"Life's way of reminding you that adulting is not for the faint of heart! 🏃♂️⏩👨👧👦 Embrace the chaos, because those problems aren't getting any slower!"
I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.
Commentary:
Well, talk about keeping the family drama alive from beyond the grave! 👻💬 It's like a never-ending Thanksgiving dinner, but with spirits instead of stuffing. Who knew that feuding with your ancestors could be a timeless tradition? 🔮😂
Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.
Commentary:
Sounds like a classic case of "opportunity knocks, but it's just to annoy you instead of it bringing you joy." 🚪😤 Who knew frustration could be so persistent and exhausting, right? Maybe it's time for opportunity to knock a little quieter next time, or just bring some chocolate instead! 🍫😅
Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.
Commentary:
Looks like someone has got their dose of Ibuprofen ready to keep those posts nice and chilled! 😂🔥 Remember, a little bit of humor is the best anti-inflammatory out there! #KeepItCool
I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.
Commentary:
"Ah, the powerful exercise routine of eye rolling – the epitome of cardio for the soul! 🙄💪 Who needs a gym when you can keep those eyes in shape just by staying effortlessly unimpressed?" 😄
People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.
Commentary:
"Oh, the sweet freedom of not having social plans! 😅 Who knew a global pandemic would make introverts feel like party animals? 🎉 #SorryNotSorry #IntrovertLife"
If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.
Commentary:
"If dogs could talk, it would be a whole new level of drama at the dog park! 🐶🗣️🤥 Just imagine the tall tales your furry friend might come up with! Better hide those socks before they spill the beans about who the real sock thief is 😉🧦"
I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.
Commentary:
"Looks like the space bar isn't cooperating with your intergalactic dreams 🌌 Keep pressing, maybe you'll reach the stars eventually! 🚀✨#EarthBound #SpaceBarFails"