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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

2 hours ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Just shared via YouTube:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Just landed via Instagram:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Spreading quickly via X:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Trending via Snapchat:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Making waves on Threads:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Home » Funny Needle Quotes

Funny needle quotes

Funny needle quotes stitch together humor and a little poke of reality! 🧵😂 Whether you’re a sewing pro, a tattoo enthusiast, or just needle-shy, these witty lines will keep you giggling through every prick and poke. Ready to needle your funny bone? 🎯✨ Let’s thread some laughter into your day!

New funny needle quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Commentary:
In this digital age, the quest for perfection has shifted from the dusty haystacks to the daunting spreadsheets! 🧐💻 Good luck finding that elusive needle of accuracy among the cells and formulas! #SpreadsheetStruggles
6 months ago
Share →: It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Commentary:
Trying to change someone's mind on the internet? 🐪 Good luck, you might have better odds getting that camel through a needle! 🪡😅 #OnlineDebates #MissionImpossible

For even more funny needle quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny needle quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

2 hours ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Just landed via Reddit:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Shared recently on Slack:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Going viral on Discord:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Spotted on Messenger:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

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