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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Just shared via Facebook:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

Going viral on Reddit:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Just shared via YouTube:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Funny New Year’s Eve quotes

Funny New Year’s Eve quotes 🎉 are the perfect way to kick off the countdown with laughs and good vibes 😂✨. Whether you’re toasting with friends 🥂 or scrolling through your feed, these witty gems bring sparkle to the night 🌟 and keep the party mood alive until midnight strikes 🕛. Get ready to giggle, grin, and share the joy as you ring in the new year with a smile! 😄🎊

New funny New Year’s Eve quotes 👇

All funny New Year’s Eve quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

33 shares on Slack this month:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

They should invent someone who holds me.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

79 shares on Discord this month:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,314

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Spotted on TikTok:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Going viral on Discord:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Live now on Threads:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Spotted on TikTok:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

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