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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ has copied:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡« has shared:

β€œI’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has shared:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has shared:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has viewed:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Messenger:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Going viral on WeChat:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Making waves on Slack:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Spotted on Reddit:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Going bananas on Threads:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Spotted on Twitch:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled β€œrun for your life!” I’d be like β€œya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Going viral on Pinterest:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Funny pens quotes

Funny pens quotes βœοΈπŸ˜‚ bring a splash of humor to your everyday scribbles! Whether you’re doodling in a meeting or jotting down brilliant ideas πŸ’‘, a clever pen pun or witty line can turn ordinary writing into a giggle-worthy moment. Ready to ink some laughs? Let’s dive into the lighter side of stationery and celebrate the quirky charm of our trusty writing tools! πŸ–ŠοΈπŸŽ‰

New funny pens quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny pens quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

86 shares on Threads this month:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

63 shares on X this month:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,404

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has downloaded:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has copied:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡° has copied:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡² has shared:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has copied:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has bookmarked:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Spotted on Reddit:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Seen just now on Threads:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Trending via Facebook:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

Just landed via X:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Seen just now on Threads:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Just landed via Slack:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Live now on Threads:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

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