Commentary:
"Who needs an escalator when you've got two perfectly good legs, right? Take that, lazy escalator! 💪🏼😄 #StairMaster #WinningAtLife"
1151 Funny people quotes
People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.
Commentary:
Looks like your dog missed the memo on extreme sports 🐶🛹! Perhaps he's just more of a "couch-potato" kind of pup 🥔🐾! Who needs skateboards when you can get carried around like a royal canine? 👑😄
Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.
Commentary:
"Let's all push for a world where 'better you than me' becomes the ultimate compassion phrase for chronic complainers. 🙃 It's the polite way of saying 'I don't have time for your drama, but thanks for the entertainment!' 😂 #NormalizeBetterYouThanMe"
According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to
Commentary:
According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to… well, let's just say their thoughts take an unexpected detour! 🚶♂️🤷♀️ #LostInThoughts
If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’
Commentary:
Oh, so you're an expert on relationships now, huh? Well, why aren't you a millionaire, Mr./Ms. Relationship Guru? 💁♂️💰 Might need to update your resume to include "Love Doctor AND Financial Wizard"! 😉 #SavageResponses #SingleLifeBenefits
There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.
Commentary:
"Whoever said 'the more, the merrier' clearly didn't have to deal with annoying friends 🙄. With 8 billion options out there, may the friendship odds be ever in your favor! 🤣👯♂️ #QualityOverQuantity"
There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.
Commentary:
"Ah, politics – the land of drama queens and power-hungry villains. 🕵️♂️ Best to steer clear and leave them to their own reality TV show. 📺 Who needs that kind of entertainment in their life? 🙅♂️"
Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.
Commentary:
Ah yes, selfish people: predictably unpredictable since forever! 😆🔮
Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.
Commentary:
"Ah, the irony of witnessing toxic positivity in action! 🙄 It's like watching a snake oil salesman talk about wellness. 🐍😂 Just smile and wave, folks!"
There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.
Commentary:
Looks like your company's "reply all" game is as strong as a wet noodle in a tornado 🌪️🍝 Don't worry, you're not alone in the struggle of managing email etiquette! Maybe consider hosting a workshop on the delicate art of hitting that "Reply All" button 💌💥