Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,545

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Just landed via Facebook:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Spreading quickly via X:

This simulation is no longer boring, since they replaced management.

Live now on YouTube:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Broadcasted on Slack:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Funny poker quotes

Funny poker quotes bring the perfect mix of wit and wisdom to the card table 🎲😄 Whether you’re bluffing your way to victory or folding like a pro, these clever lines add laughs and lighthearted vibes to every hand 🃏🔥 Get ready to shuffle up some humor and deal out smiles with the best poker one-liners around! 😂♠️♥️

New funny poker quotes 👇

All funny poker quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Telegram this month:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

41 shares on X this month:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa’s elves listen to wrap music.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just realized doors really are floating in the air 24/7. I don’t like that.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,635

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Spotted on Instagram:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Spotted on Slack:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Spotted on TikTok:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Spotted on X:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Just landed via Messenger:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴