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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ό has shared:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has viewed:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has bookmarked:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has shared:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has downloaded:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has downloaded:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has copied:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ό has copied:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

1889 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,051

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,051

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Spotted on WeChat:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Just landed via Threads:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Seen just now on Instagram:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Spotted on Facebook:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Home Β» Funny Retirement Plan Quotes

Funny retirement plan quotes

Funny retirement plan quotes bring a splash of humor to the exciting journey of trading spreadsheets for sandy beaches πŸŒ΄πŸ˜„ Whether you’re dreaming of endless naps or spontaneous adventures, these witty sayings add a lighthearted twist to planning your golden years πŸŽ‰βœ¨ Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even rethink your retirement strategy with a dash of laughter! πŸ˜‚πŸ”₯

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For even more funny retirement plan quotes, check out the next page, if available πŸ‘‡

All funny retirement plan quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ“ˆ

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Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

1889 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,051

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,051

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has viewed:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has shared:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has copied:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has downloaded:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they β€œcan’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ has viewed:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has shared:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on X:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Just landed via Threads:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Trending via Reddit:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Reported on Twitch:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Making waves on YouTube:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Trending via Messenger:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Just shared via YouTube:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new PokΓ©mon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Trending via Snapchat:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

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