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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Going viral on Telegram:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Spotted on TikTok:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Just shared via Reddit:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Breaking via Slack:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Funny second chance quotes

Funny second chance quotes bring a smile 😄 to those moments when life gives us a do-over 🔄! Whether you flubbed it the first time or just need a little extra luck 🍀, these witty lines remind us that everyone deserves another shot — with a side of laughter 😂. Ready to embrace your comeback with humor? Let’s dive into the funniest ways to celebrate second chances! 🎉✨

New funny second chance quotes 👇

All funny second chance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

66 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,439

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Making waves on Pinterest:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Live now on Instagram:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Breaking via Discord:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Shared recently on Threads:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Breaking via Slack:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

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