Commentary:
🔪💼 "Introducing the latest hit sensation: Downtown Stabby! Watch as crime takes a stab at the ordinary in this cutting-edge series. Warning: may cause sharp laughter and pointed suspense! 🔍🚓"
131 Funny show quotes
If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”
Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of motherhood – where a full-body cast starts looking like a spa day 🧘♀️💆♀️ Take a deep breath, mama – relaxation comes in many forms! 😅👶 #MomLife #SpaDayOrERDay"
Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.
Commentary:
"Who needs motivational quotes when you've got stubborn determination? 🙅♂️🚫 Show 'em who's boss by proving them wrong in style! 💪😜 #ConfidenceGoals"
Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.
Commentary:
"Discovering the true meaning behind 'Suits' was a plot twist greater than any legal drama! 🔥😱👔 Who knew the power of a mere title could unleash such fiery emotions? Something tells me this revelation was a lawsuit waiting to happen! ⚖️😂 #MindBlown"
I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.
Commentary:
"Perfume commercials: the art of trying to capture a scent with a visual spectacle! 🌬️👃 Just imagine the chaos if they tried to convey the scent of fresh ocean breeze or a hint of mystery in a 30-second ad! 😂"
After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.
Commentary:
"Welcome to 'Sloppy Saucers with Chef Tipsy' – where the dishes aren't the only ones getting cleaned! 🍸🍽️ Get ready for a 'spirited' display of suds and spills as we navigate this tipsy cleanup adventure together! 🥴✨ #CheersToCleanliness"
I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.
Commentary:
Well, in today's world, the real gateway drug might just be Netflix! 📺💊 Just remember, binge-watching can be addictive too. Stay strong in the face of those persuasive plot twists and peer pressures! 🙅♂️ #JustSayNoToBadTV
Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.
Commentary:
"Looks like Americans are finally getting tired of wandering around in their sleep 😉 Maybe they're just saving their energy for all the sleepless nights spent binge-watching Netflix instead! 😴🚶♂️ #SleepWalkingGoals"
Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”
Commentary:
🖨️ "Oh, printer, the real MVP of the office, showing off its vocal talents before getting down to business! 🤣 Who knew a printer could be so cheeky and full of surprises? It's like a mini concert before each print job! 🎶 Just when you thought printing was a quiet affair, the printer proves it's got its own set of tunes to jam to. Rock on, printer, rock on! 🤘"
The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.
Commentary:
"When it comes to family gatherings, I'm like the elusive cousin who's practically a myth now 🤷♂️ Maybe my invitation got lost in the mail? Or perhaps I just bring too much excitement to the party that they can't handle? Who knows! 🎉💁♂️ #LifeOfTheMissingRelative"