Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,350

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Trending via WeChat:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Making waves on Instagram:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Making waves on Slack:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Seen just now on TikTok:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Spotted on Discord:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Spotted on Reddit:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Funny sooner quotes

Funny sooner quotes bring a burst of laughter and wit to those moments when timing just isn’t on your side 😂⏰ Whether you’re rushing into things or wishing you’d acted earlier, these playful sayings add humor to the art of being a little too quick or just in the nick of time 😅✨ Get ready to giggle and relate as we dive into the funniest takes on doing things sooner than expected! 🎉🚀

New funny sooner quotes 👇

All funny sooner quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Threads this month:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

24 shares on Discord this month:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Drilling for oil is well boring.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,533

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Trending via Slack:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Trending via YouTube:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Seen just now on X:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

Making waves on Snapchat:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

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