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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,346

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Making waves on Twitch:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Just shared via Facebook:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Spotted on Reddit:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Just shared via Telegram:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Making waves on Threads:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Funny stations quotes

Funny stations quotes 🚉😂 bring a burst of laughter to those everyday waiting moments! Whether you’re stuck on a platform or riding the train, these witty sayings turn the usual commute into a comedy show. Ready to brighten up your travel mood and share some giggles with fellow passengers? Let’s dive into the funniest, quirkiest station humor that’ll have you smiling all the way to your destination! 😄🎉🚆

New funny stations quotes 👇

All funny stations quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

28 shares on Discord this month:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

63 shares on Slack this month:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,449

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Making waves on Facebook:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Just landed via Facebook:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Breaking via Slack:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Making waves on TikTok:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Spotted on Threads:

Some people still fail to understand that the boot still has no problem crushing you, even if you lick it clean.

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