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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

34 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Breaking via Messenger:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Spotted on Slack:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Just shared via Reddit:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Trending via Reddit:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Home » Funny Visits Quotes

Funny visits quotes

Funny visits quotes bring laughter and lighthearted vibes to those unforgettable moments spent with friends and family 😂🏡 Whether it’s awkward hellos, unexpected surprises, or hilarious mishaps, these quotes capture the joy and chaos of every visit 🎉🤣 Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even snort a little as you dive into the funniest ways we celebrate togetherness! #GoodTimes #VisitVibes

New funny visits quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Commentary:
🐾🐙 "Theo Von's life: one part raccoon, two parts unexpected subway adventure. Just waiting for him to ask a pigeon for directions. 🚇🗽"
4 months ago
Share →: My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Commentary:
"Looks like your kids are pursuing their own version of 'Grey's Anatomy: Elementary Edition'! 🏥💉 Who knew running to the school nurse could earn them a PhD in 'I Need a Band-Aid'?"
6 months ago
Share →: How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal question of bathroom hide-and-seek during family gatherings 🚽🙈 Remember, timing is key! Just make sure you don't emerge with a full-blown beard, or they might start to worry 😂 #BathroomEscapeArtist"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate parent revenge plan: Revenge of the Hangry Parents! 🍔🍟👨‍👧‍👦 Watch out, future adults, your turn to feed the fam is coming! 😂 #PaybackTime"

For even more funny visits quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny visits quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

34 minutes ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Shared recently on X:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My life is based on a true story.

Seen just now on Telegram:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Shared recently on X:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Making waves on Messenger:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Just shared via Messenger:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Shared recently on Slack:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Reported on Slack:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

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