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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Spotted on Telegram:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Making waves on Threads:

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Breaking via TikTok:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Just shared via WeChat:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Breaking via Telegram:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

Funny visits quotes

Funny visits quotes bring laughter and lighthearted vibes to those unforgettable moments spent with friends and family 😂🏡 Whether it’s awkward hellos, unexpected surprises, or hilarious mishaps, these quotes capture the joy and chaos of every visit 🎉🤣 Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even snort a little as you dive into the funniest ways we celebrate togetherness! #GoodTimes #VisitVibes

New funny visits quotes 👇

All funny visits quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on X this month:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

71 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Just landed via TikTok:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Spotted on Slack:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Going viral on Discord:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Just shared via WeChat:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Going viral on Reddit:

Dear algo, please only show this post to benevolent aliens.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Trending via Snapchat:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Making waves on Twitch:

Being naked with headphones on is so fun.

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