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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Every day we get closer and closer to Idiocracy coming true.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,710

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Making waves on Slack:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Trending via Snapchat:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Freshly posted on X:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Shared recently on X:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Going viral on Messenger:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Witty text about waiting for applause to fade after posting something humorous.
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Commentary:
Ah, a true social media maestro! 🤣👏 Waiting for the digital applause like a digital rockstar 🌟 Keep the followers entertained and the notifications popping! 📱💥 #SocialMediaSavvy

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Instagram this month:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

73 shares on X this month:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

I like when games that have no need for a jump button have a jump button.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

25 shares on Slack this month:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Going bananas on X:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Making waves on X:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Just landed via Threads:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

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