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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Trending via WeChat:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Making waves on Telegram:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Live now on Twitch:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

4 months ago

0

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Texting in the comfort of the bare essentials—keeping it cheekily confidential! 😂📱🤫

butt, humor, i, know, naked, never, people, privacy, secret, texting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

0

2 months ago

great, imagine, just, life, pizza, skinny
When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

0

2 months ago

ask, client, communication, confusion, creativity, design, humor, i, means, mind, myself, pop, project
Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

0

2 months ago

alarm, excuses, here, honesty, humor, i, late, lateness, laziness, procrastination, sarcasm, set, sorry, want
“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

0

2 months ago

artificial, artificial intelligence, future, humor, intelligence, joke, machines, ok, people, robots, smart, soon, tech, tech humor, technology
Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

0

2 months ago

financial, getting, home, humor, me, money, mortgage, paid, responsibility, staying, staying in, worth
One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

0

2 months ago

aging, bathroom, before, carefree, change, day, funny observation, humor, life, life change, next, observation, preheating, shower, young, youth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Discord this month:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

42 shares on Instagram this month:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

43 shares on Threads this month:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

93 shares on Slack this month:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,377

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Spotted on Facebook:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Shared recently on Threads:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Going viral on Slack:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Spotted on Reddit:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Making waves on X:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

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