I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

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I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

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No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

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It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

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If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

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In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

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At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

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They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

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Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

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Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

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I think my soulmate might be carbs.