Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

The future is buffering.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,480

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Live now on Pinterest:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Making waves on WeChat:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Trending via Pinterest:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Just shared via Reddit:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Just shared via Reddit:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

(suicidal grindset guy) When I jump, it’s gonna be from the penthouse.

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone needs a lesson in aim… 😂🎯 #StormtrooperFails

cheering, fan, Fan humor, friends, friendship, humor, movie, movie quote, star, Star Wars, stormtrooper, wars

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

0

2 months ago

animal, biblical, bring, creativity, drama, every, humor, i, ID, just, Noah, storytelling
The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

0

2 months ago

Adam, apple, Chinese, culture, different, eve, food, history, humor, irony, left, snake
I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

0

2 months ago

believe, i, life, me, nap, someone, take, time
My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

0

2 months ago

anyone, before, close, competition, doors, elevator, else, hobby, humor, interaction, social, social interaction, trying, waiting
I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

0

2 months ago

date, dating, humor, i, mistake, relationship, self-deprecation
Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

0

2 months ago

3d, 3D printer, creativity, humor, making, printer, return, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Slack this month:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

74 shares on X this month:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

95 shares on Slack this month:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

95 shares on Slack this month:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

33 shares on Discord this month:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Just shared via YouTube:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Making waves on Reddit:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Spotted on WeChat:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Live now on WeChat:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨