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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from šŸ‡²šŸ‡æ has downloaded:

Stay humble, you are someoneā€™s weird coworker.

Someone from šŸ‡§šŸ‡© has viewed:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Someone from šŸ‡§šŸ‡© has copied:

Gaslighting myself into thinking Iā€™m in a good mood.

Someone from šŸ‡§šŸ‡¾ has bookmarked:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Someone from šŸ‡øšŸ‡æ has bookmarked:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Someone from šŸ‡¦šŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Yeah, Iā€™ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Someone from šŸ‡³šŸ‡Ŗ has bookmarked:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Someone from šŸ‡ŗšŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Forget being the bigger person, Iā€™m going to just start barking at people.

Someone from šŸ‡©šŸ‡² has viewed:

When I write ā€œI hope this email finds you wellā€ Iā€™m referring to the emailā€™s skills in tracking you down.

Someone from šŸ‡«šŸ‡Æ has shared:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Funny Quotes Data šŸ¤“

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792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,954

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,954

Updated

25 minutes ago

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3,433

Social Media Log šŸ’«

Shared recently on Reddit:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Trending via Instagram:

So a baby crawls across the floor to itā€™s bottle and itā€™s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Shared recently on YouTube:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Spotted on Discord:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Going viral on Instagram:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Imagine hating on me and Iā€™m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Just shared via Twitch:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Live now on Slack:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Iā€™m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Iā€™m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?
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Commentary:
šŸ¤” "Iā€™m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?" šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø

Well, I'm sure there are plenty of pet shelters out there eagerly waiting to welcome you into their furry, loving arms! šŸ¾ Who knows, you might even get adopted by a mischievous kitten or a playful pup who will keep you on your toes! šŸ±šŸ¶ Just remember to pack some extra treats and toys for your new family member!

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Welcome to Wordgag! šŸ˜‰āœŒļø Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. šŸ˜‚šŸ’„

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data šŸ¤“

New Funny Quotes

792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,954

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,954

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month šŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ā­

Activity Log āœØ

Someone from šŸ‡¹šŸ‡· has viewed:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Someone from šŸ‡²šŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

No, I wonā€™t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Someone from šŸ‡¦šŸ‡± has bookmarked:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from šŸ‡¹šŸ‡± has copied:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Someone from šŸ‡®šŸ‡© has copied:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Someone from šŸ‡ØšŸ‡· has shared:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Someone from šŸ‡øšŸ‡³ has copied:

My boyfriend just said ā€œI encourage you to try all thingsā€ to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Someone from šŸ‡®šŸ‡³ has copied:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Someone from šŸ‡¬šŸ‡· has viewed:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Someone from šŸ‡ØšŸ‡¦ has viewed:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Social Media Log šŸ’«

Just landed via Messenger:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Just landed via X:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Just shared via WeChat:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Breaking via Messenger:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Breaking via Slack:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Just shared via Threads:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Spotted on Reddit:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughterā€™s attitude and she told me I shouldā€™ve named her payback.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

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