Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,018

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Just shared via Instagram:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Trending via Snapchat:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Just shared via Messenger:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Going viral on Telegram:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Going viral on Reddit:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Making waves on Discord:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When social media is your only social skill 🤷‍♂️😂 #KeyboardWarrior

being, humor, impression, introvert, media, person, sarcasm, social, social media, social person, sorry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

0

5 months ago

communication, guys, i, just, last, late, late reply, message, night, reply, restaurant, saw, socializing, sorry, still, text, text message
Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

0

2 months ago

before, humor, me, rude, sleep, surprise, wake
So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

0

3 months ago

am, communication, fluent, friendship, humor, i, me, next, silence, sit, speak, tired, too
Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

0

2 months ago

being, confidence, encouragement, humor, individuality, self-acceptance, start, stop, uniqueness, weird, weirdness, worrying
I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

0

5 months ago

beach, body, casual, confidence, humor, self-deprecating, summer, vacation
The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

0

2 months ago

alone, care, everyone, except, extra, humor, just, leave, lesson, life, life lesson, loneliness, matters, nothing, problem, relationship, self-care, selfishness, solitude, special, take, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on TikTok this month:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

91 shares on TikTok this month:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

21 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Making waves on X:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Just landed via WeChat:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Going viral on Reddit:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨