Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Going viral on Reddit:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Trending via Facebook:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Just landed via Facebook:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Just landed via Slack:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Just landed via YouTube:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

4 weeks ago

Witty text highlighting social media's illusion of friendliness, playful and humorous in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When social media is your only social skill 🤷‍♂️😂 #KeyboardWarrior

being, humor, impression, introvert, media, person, sarcasm, social, social media, social person, sorry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on TikTok this month:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

47 shares on Discord this month:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Popping your head in the cockpit and saying, “Anywhere here will do, chief.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Spotted on Instagram:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Just landed via WeChat:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Spotted on YouTube:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Just shared via Discord:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

Time machine? You mean a clock?

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

Time machine? You mean a clock?

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨