I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.