Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,666

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Making waves on Slack:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Spotted on Discord:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Seen just now on X:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Trending via Telegram:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Making waves on Twitch:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Why talk when you can type a novel? 📱✍️😆 #SilentButChatty"

anxiety, call, calls, communication, communication style, humor, introvert, kind, message, paragraphs, personality, phone, phone call, social, social anxiety, style, text, text message, texting, texts

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on TikTok this month:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

96 shares on Slack this month:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

57 shares on Threads this month:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

“It is what it is,” I say, as I almost vomit from anxiety.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Trending via Facebook:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Spotted on Facebook:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Seen just now on X:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Making waves on Slack:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Keep the laugh going 😂

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨