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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,374

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Spotted on X:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Making waves on TikTok:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Spotted on WeChat:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Trending via Instagram:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Just landed via Twitch:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

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“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.
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Commentary:
When you realize that "too pretty for this" is your new life philosophy, and it’s working wonders 😂👑✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on X this month:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

39 shares on Slack this month:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

92 shares on Telegram this month:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

82 shares on Discord this month:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

36 shares on Discord this month:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Masturbation is easy, but choosing a video is hard.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Going viral on Telegram:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Trending via Pinterest:

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Live now on Threads:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Just shared via Facebook:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Spotted on Facebook:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

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