Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

It’s finally actually Saturday after just thinking it was Saturday every day for the last five days.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,521

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Just shared via Messenger:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Spotted on Slack:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Making waves on WeChat:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

Going viral on Twitch:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Making waves on Threads:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Just landed via X:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Haphazard photo arrangements and blurry selfies? It's called being effortlessly mysterious! 🔍🤳🔥

account, attraction, dating, hot, humor, Instagram, man, me, media, poorly, run, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

0

2 months ago

bathroom, cleanliness, crime, crime scene, humor, joke, scene, toilet, toilets, traces
Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

days, every, humor, Monday, procrastination, Saturday, time, tomorrow, weekend, workweek
If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

0

2 months ago

healing, humor, i, inventor, irony, linear, medical, much, tell
Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

0

2 months ago

cable, cord, dominance, electronics, ever, HDMI, HDMI cord, humor, most, run, technology
I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

0

2 months ago

admiration, attention, dating, humor, i, love, me, meme, need, passion, relationship, someone
Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

0

2 months ago

authentication, call, condom, humor, joke, protection, pull, pull out, safety, sex, still, two-factor, two-factor authentication, using

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Threads this month:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

52 shares on Discord this month:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Just shared via Messenger:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Just landed via X:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Spotted on WeChat:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Live now on Telegram:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Shared recently on X:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Making waves on X:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨