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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

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3,548

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Spotted on Discord:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Spotted on Threads:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Making waves on X:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Spotted on Telegram:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

Making waves on Telegram:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

3 months ago

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Haphazard photo arrangements and blurry selfies? It's called being effortlessly mysterious! 🔍🤳🔥

account, attraction, dating, hot, humor, Instagram, man, me, media, poorly, run, social, social media

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82 shares on Reddit this month:

No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

93 shares on Threads this month:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

40 shares on Discord this month:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Seen just now on Discord:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Making waves on YouTube:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Just landed via X:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Just landed via Facebook:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

I’ve spent years struggling to prove that the sunk-cost fallacy isn’t actually a fallacy. No sense in giving up now, though.

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’ve spent years struggling to prove that the sunk-cost fallacy isn’t actually a fallacy. No sense in giving up now, though.

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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