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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,731

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Just shared via Threads:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Making waves on Threads:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Live now on X:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Just shared via Twitch:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Going viral on Telegram:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Live now on TikTok:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

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I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally embracing the fine art of bird spa management! 🐦🛁😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Messenger this month:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

31 shares on Discord this month:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,846

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Spotted on YouTube:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Just landed via YouTube:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Trending via TikTok:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Trending via WeChat:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Going viral on Slack:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

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