Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,524

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Making waves on Telegram:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Live now on YouTube:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Spotted on Telegram:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Making waves on Twitch:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Making waves on Twitch:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Here we go: galloping towards doomsday one selfie at a time! 🐎📱😆

apocalypse, Facebook, four, horseman, horsemen, humor, Instagram, joke, maybe, media, social, social media, TikTok, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

0

2 months ago

40s, adulting, age, cleaning, expectations, eyesight, guest, humor, level, readers, related, welcome
Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

0

3 months ago

after, brag, bragging, date, humor, relationship, restroom, using
I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

0

4 months ago

emotional, emotional release, frustration, humor, i, life, literally, mountain, need, overstimulation, release, relief, scream, stress, stress relief, top
As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

1

2 months ago

activity, dip, food, happy, i, joy, snack, something
I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

0

2 months ago

confidence, humor, i, irony, need, praise, sarcasm, self-esteem, self-worth, someone, validation
I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

0

2 months ago

casual, chaos, circus, guy, head, humor, laid-back, personality

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Reddit this month:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Love is in the air fryer.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Spotted on Snapchat:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Just shared via YouTube:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Seen just now on Threads:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Live now on Discord:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Spreading quickly via X:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Spotted on TikTok:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Going bananas on Messenger:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨