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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,411

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Trending via TikTok:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Spotted on Facebook:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Shared recently on Slack:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Making waves on Reddit:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Men: 'I want you!' Me: 'To bring snacks and watch me binge-watch Netflix?' 😅🍿📺 #Priorities"

desire, humor, i, men, relationships, sarcasm, suffer, suffering, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

0

6 months ago

acceptance, ever, feel, guilt, guilty, guilty pleasure, humor, i, pleasure, self, self-acceptance, why
Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

0

2 months ago

calls, cheese, cooking, food, humor, life, lot, mistake, mistakes, recipe
One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

0

2 months ago

building, day, fun, next, pretty, saying, things, young
It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

0

1 week ago

actually, being, benefit, crazy, ghost, ghosts, humor, i, joke, know, people, spooky, three, visit
I used to have a great future in my past.

0

2 months ago

future, great, humor, humorist, i, irony, past, reflection, retrospective, used
When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

0

2 months ago

awareness, before, closer, death, existential, finished, humor, irony, little, reading

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

28 shares on X this month:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

12 shares on Slack this month:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

78 shares on X this month:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

67 shares on Reddit this month:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I only drink when I people.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Trending via Messenger:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Spotted on WeChat:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Trending via Threads:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Shared recently on Telegram:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Just shared via Twitch:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

I used to have a great future in my past.

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨