Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

353 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,622

Funny Quotes Topics

17,673

Funny Quotes Images

15,622

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,307

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Trending via Reddit:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Just shared via Slack:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Live now on Instagram:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I've finally got my act together, but somehow I still can't locate my marbles! 😂🦆🐘🍳🐟

basket, bigger, duck, egg, eggs, elephant, fish, food, fried, fried food, humor, idiom, row

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

4 months ago

emotion, emotionally, humor, joke, jokes, laugh, own, self-awareness, stability, stable
Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

2 months ago

absurdity, amoeba, evolution, humor, i, leave, life, little, Monday, ocean, responsibility, stupid, worry
This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

2 months ago

adulthood, brochure, expectations, growing, growing up, humor, irony, life, reality
No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

2 months ago

am, feeling, frustration, humor, i, long weekend, machine, meant, refreshed, trapped, weekend, work
The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

4 months ago

6, Adele, balance, break, celebrity, humor, management, months, much, music, productivity, time, time management, work, work life, work-life balance, works
I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

6 months ago

attitude, believe, desire, honesty, humor, i, motivation, phrase, truth, want, wanted, willpower

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

72 shares on Discord this month:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

51 shares on Slack this month:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

83 shares on Threads this month:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

64 shares on X this month:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

People say 70-80 year olds are unemployable because of mental decline, yet somehow they’re running all the countries.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Just landed via Messenger:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Breaking via Instagram:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Just shared via Telegram:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Spotted on Messenger:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Breaking via Twitch:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Going viral on TikTok:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨