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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,325

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Making waves on Discord:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Going viral on WeChat:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Broadcasted on X:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Going bananas on Messenger:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Trending via Telegram:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Making waves on Discord:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

3 weeks ago

Witty text about confusing slang and quirky uncle energy, humorous and playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 I guess I’ve been channeling my inner "weird uncle" all along! 🧔🕺

carrying, energy, God, humor, i, language, meaning, means, meant, misunderstanding, oh, slang, thought, unc, uncle, uncool, weird, word, word meaning

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Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

66 shares on Discord this month:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I only drink when I people.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Just shared via Reddit:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

Going viral on YouTube:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Making waves on Reddit:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Shared recently on X:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Going viral on YouTube:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Breaking via Twitch:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Trending via TikTok:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨